


After all this time

by YuuramGinZuraKillugonRenGiyuu



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, M/M, Regret, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24701893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuuramGinZuraKillugonRenGiyuu/pseuds/YuuramGinZuraKillugonRenGiyuu
Summary: Gintoki and Zura loved each other but feelings go wrong. The timing is not right, Theres a lot to risk. Is love really enough?OOC to the finest.
Kudos: 1





	After all this time

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't know what am I writing hahaha, just read it and you can leave a comment and like if you want. I'm just a wannabe writer who loves GinZura. English is not my first language correct me if you see anything wrong.  
> Disclaimer: I do not owned the Characters it is from our Sorachi-sensei. If I owned the characters I'll make sure not to let Zura in standby.

**Gintoki's POV**  
Walking away, from what I thought would never end... Looking okay but deep inside my heart is broken into pieces and my mind keeps telling me to look back to him , to run to him and to hold his hand, to hug him and say that I won't leave you... You won't be alone because I'm always with you...

But just like the others, I left because seeing you remind me of our Sensei... you remind me of the old times and I know better that you don't forgive me for killing our Sensei even if you said it's not my fault and I just carried the will and wish of Sensei still I know both you and Takasugi won't forgive me because even I can't forgive myself. In the end of the war, we all lost something important to us not just life of Sensei... also our friends, comrades and classmates. Our sacrifices to save Sensei got wasted! I wasted it because I was the one to cut all our hopes.

I just wish to the special star tonight that I won't ever meet Takasugi and specially Zura ever again.

**Katsura's POV**  
You turned away. I called you back but it's no use. Just like Takasugi, you left me in this battlefield alone. What can I say? Everything is over, Sensei's now lifeless and Takasugi lost his left eye and you the one who supposed to be with me also leave. Now, I know I got nothing to lose. I will walked forward and wishing that you and Takasugi together with Sakamoto will be alright, we separated our paths but I know for sure, one day... someday we we all meet again with a smile on our face and we will laugh and insult each other just like the old times.

Thank You Gintoki... for making Sensei's will come true, thank you for protecting us, the school and sensei's legacy. I just hope you will be easy for yourself, forgive yourself Gintoki. I just hope that time will heal us all. I prayed for the deaths of my comrade and friend who fought bravely in the war to have a peace and safety of their left families, I prayed for Sakamoto, Takasugi and Gintoki's mental health and physical to be stable.

I wish to my lucky star that when the time I meet Gintoki again everything about us will be the same just before the war starts, just like the times when we where just fooling around.

**10 years after the end of war**

In the busy street of Edo, some of Joui men told Katsura about the Shiroyasha, that he is in the Edo and has a business on his own. Katsura was happy to hear that Gintoki is doing alright and he can't wait to see him again. He set up a playful prank to Gintoki but he didn't know that Gintoki is with two kids.  
The one kid is 16 yrs old boy with glasses he is well mannered and smart his name is Shimura Shinpachi, the other kid is a 13 yrs old girl with violet parasol she is strong but she adopted some of Gintoki's manner her name is Kagura. Both kids are loyal to Gintoki and they look like a happy family together.  
Gintoki felt uneasy when he saw Zura, he looks a bit older than the last time. His hair is longer, he grow inches but Gintoki is still taller than him but Zura looks malnourished, he is way to skinny. Did this idiot forget that skipping meal is bad? Gintoki thought as he observe Zura but still Zura is always Zura he is still the same idiot, silly but smart and I am not suprised that he is a terrorist and he is the Leader of the Jouishishi because ever since we are young, Zura is meant to be Nobel.

**Katsura's POV**

Meeting Gintoki, I thought he will be happy to see me again, that he will smile at me and say something foolish but it was just a thought... just an expectation. I'm an Idiot to expect the same treatment after all the things that happened.  
Looking at the dark sky, my thoughts wonder.. A lot of what if, wishes and wonder is inside my head. Different scenes about the end of the war and the meeting again.

Will it be the same if I was the one who cut our sensei's life?  
Will Takasugi react the same as before?  
Will Gintoki forgive me?  
Will it be the same if I beg Gintoki not to leave?  
Will we be friends again?  
Will he be see me as his Zura and not just a lousy rebel?

I just look at the star, the lucky star that always guide me and just ignored it because my wish don't come true...  
I've been looking at the dark sky while I'm reminiscing all my good and bad memories with him... with them  
I just wonder if he needs me still after all this time.

**Gintoki's POV**

A bottle of sake in my hand, I remember the look in Zura's face.. the hurt and pain in his eyes and the sad smile that can fool anyone who doesn't really know his real smile. I treat him like I didn't know him, that he is just like some of the terrorist. I didn't expect to meet him in this country, I am not ready to see him and talk to him. All the efforts I make to forget him to forget them just vanished.

I look outside of my window and see the dark sky and the star Zura always say that the brightest star is his wishing star, his guiding star. I avoided looking at the star that remind me of the times when we are star gazing and talking about our future together with Takasugi, Sakamoto and Sensei. Zura that lucky star of yours didn't make my widh come true.

I poured out the sake at my cup and drink it, I've been thinking alot after seeing him. I still feel the same for him. I still love him.  
I focus my eyes on the dark sky and wondered what will happen?

What will happen if I confess to him about my feelings?  
What if Sensei's is with us?  
Will Sensei help me to confess my feelings to his brightest student?  
Will Sensei accept me for who I am?  
Will Takasugi also confess his feelings towards Zura?  
If Sensei didn't die I'm sure that Takasugi will confess to Zura  
What if Zura has a feeling for Takasugi?  
I just wondered if Zura still needs me after all this time.

**Years had been passed**

Katsura and Gintoki stay civil to each other, both of them have their own priority and has something to protect. They still meet each other but it was just a small talk or if one of them need a help mostly Zura needs a help with his new found friend/companion Elizabeth.  
Both of them met a special woman that they both cherish  
Tsukuyo the woman who Gintoki met in the Yoshiwara and Ikamatsu the woman whose one of the reason why Katsura is not so violent with bombing the amanto's.

**Gintoki's POV**

Seeing Zura with Ikamatsu makes my heart ached. From the very start I know that Zura has something with widows and Ikamatsu is someone who can keep Zura for good.  
Am I jealous? Yes I am jealous  
The way Zura mentioned Ikamatsu and the way Zura smiled at her. I wish Zura smiled at me the same as before. I wish Zura will be my Zura again. But what can I do? What can I say? I ruined everything...

If I just confess to him  
If I really told him what I feel for him  
If I didn't become a coward who is afraid for rejection, afraid that Zura will never see me as me again  
Now everything is too late.  
Zura is now happy... Zura is now in a good hands  
Now its time for me to move on...  
After all this time... I kept my feelings for you, everyone knows and everyone sees the way I look at you is different from the rest... its just you Zura who keeps blinded and close minded... I love you Zura, I will always loved you

**Katsura's POV**

Gintoki's now has a girlfriend and that is Tsukki-dono, he talked to me about what do I think of Tsukki-dono and if they look good together  
Of course I said Yes they look good together even though I think it is better if its me and him together... silly me I know Gintoki is a straight man and I don't want him to think bad at me if I say my feelings to him.  
I don't want to risk our friendship... not now that we are starting to get close again  
I don't want him to hate me  
I don't want him to look me in a different way  
I don't want to lose him again

After all this time... I've been doing good at keeping my feelings for you, I've been lying when some of our friends asked if I have a feelings for you. I've been a good liar but I can't lie to you if your the ont to asked me... If you ever asked me, I will tell you everything the truth. If only you will tell me and ask me I will proudly say to you that I trully love you

But now its time to let you go... its time to face the fact that this is only a one-sided love... I love you Gintoki but its time to let go the almost 12 years of loving you

**The time has come for Gintoki to get married**

The day of Gintoki's wedding is the day all of his friends are there. Katsura is the best man of course Takasugi and Sakamoto is also there. All of wish them happiness.

A few of Gintoki and Zura's friend know their true feelings for each other. Some of them pity them. If they just brave enough to risk than to be coward maybe they are the one to get married.

Katsura and Ikamatsu stay as friends eeveryone know that Zura is trying hard to move on from his love and Takasugi is the one who supports him.

**Takasugi's POV**

While we are at the reception I am with the Yorozuya kids, Otae, Kamui, Sakamoto and Mutsu we are talking about the relationship of Gintoki and Katsura, they are debating if Gintoki already moved on or not.

"I'm sure Gin-chan love Tsukki" Kagura proudly said while his having a food fight with his brother Kamui. I look at Sakamoto and to my surprise he is staring at me.

Sakamoto laugh and said "Do you know how much it hurts? We all know they both feel the same way yet they don't do anything about it and they pass by each other like they're just a happy bestfriends and no other feelings at all" Wow that bastard Sakamoto can speak like that. Everyone become quiet after what he said. "And we as their friends didn't do anything to make them happy" Otae sadly tell.

Zura joined us smilling after he finish his speech to the newly weds, I gave him a meaningful look asking if he is alright and he nod and sit next to me. The table became silent as if they are making sense of the situation. Zura laugh and ask why suddenly became quiet and Sakamoto replied with another laugh and said that Zura looks nervous.

**Katsura's POV**

They are all quiet after I joined them in their table, maybe they don't want me here. Where is Elizabeth? I didn't see him after the wedding. I am truly happy for Gintoki, he is now a happy married man I know Shouyo-Sensei is proud of him. Kagura called me and said "Zura your spacing out" "Hmm What is it Leader-dono?" I asked her and she look at me with a pity? "Zura why can't you and Ikamatsu can't be together? she asked me again, I look at her and answered that "Ikamatsu-dono is a good friend of mine, you can't marry someone who is not your real love" "Ahh so what is real love for you Zura" she ask me again and I think of what will I answer to her, she keeps on looking at me waiting for my answer.

I took a deep breath before I said that "Love is when you do anything and give everything just to hold them in your arms, love is when you give and never expect to receive, love is investing your time and making an effort to be with them, love is when you are contended just to see them happy even when they are no longer part of their lives and love is ... love is ... real love is making sure that their happiness is your priority" I said that while looking at the happy Gintoki holding her bride while talking to the Shinsengumi officers. I felt that someone squeeze my hand I look who it is and I saw Takasugi looking concern, I smile at him and I said that I never expect Gintoki to be the one to first get married I thought Sakamoto will marry his Oreo-chan but now he is engage to Mutsu-dono. I am so happy for you guys, maybe after Sakamoto get married I look at Takasugi and smile brightly Takasugi you should marry Matako-dono she is waiting for you. Takasugi choked and I heared Kamui-dono and Sakamoto laugh so hard, I wonder whats wrong? Dont tell me Takasugi has another lover that I didn't know! he is keeping a secret from me!!. I look at Takasugi and asked who is his new lover and Takasugi look at me sincerely and said "You". I blink and asked Me? what did I do to you? Do I know her? Is she somewhat a Joui rebel?. All of them laugh and I saw Gintoki heading towards us together with the Shinsengumi and his bride.

  
"I am serious Zura! You I said You not someone you know! I said You! You are the one I love... I love you from the long time since we were kids, since the day you look for me and came to just give me your onigiri and said that it was from your grandmother but we all know that your grandmother passed away 4 months ago that time and you are living alone" Takasugi almost shouted but it was only us who heared it. We are all speechless by Takasugi's outburst, I look at his eye to see if theres a hint of lie but all I see is his sincerity. I don't know what to say... what to response... I just smile at him and bowed down I can't trust my voice right now, I can't be careless to speak. Gintoki and the others came to our table they all said their congratulations and speech to Gintoki and Tsukki-dono, I didn't say a word and I just calmly eat my dinner.

**Epilogue**

Katsura lay down on the grass and now staring at the moon and his lucky star, he is silently watching as the sky gets darker as the moon is slowly covered by the clouds, he wish again to his lucky star that when he leave this place the people he truly love will stay happy. Slowly breathing he is now waiting for his final deep breathe before he joined his sensei to the other life. He wishes to all his friends that he will take this moment for himself only, he wants to be alone when the time has come, he doesnt have a strength to look at the eyes of his friends knowing his going to die any minute. He didn't expect that only a brain cancer can kill him.

Few months after Gintoki got his first son, Zura started to feel weak and dizzy, it was too late when they know it was a cancer it was already at the final stage. He felt someone is standing next to his head, he didn't have look he knows this presence and he is the last person Katsura want to see. "Gintoki, what are you standing near my head?" weakly Zura asked not bothering to look at the person.

Gintoki lay down next to Katsura invading Zura's personal space and said that "Just like the old times.. Zura, what are you doing here laying down without a blanket? Its cold outside of the Hospital"

  
Katsura didn't answer his question but said "that It's not Zura, its Katsura, when will you be call me by my name Gintoki seriously" his voice is so low and he speaks slowly. Gintoki didn't know how to comfort his bestfriend, he didn't know what to say, it was already too late and Zura already said his farewell speech to all of his friends. Gintoki remained silent not knowing if he will ask Zura not to give up and go to Sakamoto and look for a cure to the cancer. Katsura felt the anxious of his bestfriend, he wanted to have a conversation for the last time with the one he love, he really love.

Katsura asked Gintoki just to have a topic " What is the worst feeling for you?"

Gintoki didn't even think before he answer, he opened his mouth and said that

"the worst feeling is having left behind by someone you knew for a long time, the someone who is always by yourside even though you push him hard to be out of your life, that someone who always supports you even though it was against his bushido code, the worst feeling is that you can't do anything to ease the pain of the one you love, the worst feeling is regret.... regret that the someone you love left the world without even knowing my true feeling towards him, the worst feeling is when you miss that someone so much and he's right beside you yet you can't have them now.

My worst feeling is you Katsura Kotarou" Gintoki sat down and look straight into Zura's eyes

"My worst regret is you Katsura Kotarou, I regret that I didn't even have a courage to say that I love you... I truly love you, I love you so much that its hurt me to see you now in your final day or hour or even minute, do you understand me Kotarou? My one and only Zura, my wig idiot, my stupid bestfriend, my little Taro, my general, my everything, my love."

Gintoki waited for Katsura's reaction he fears that Zura won't believe him or laugh at him but Katsura only smiled at him and said that

"Do you know what I wish to my lucky star? Katsura didn't wait for Gintoki's answer he just said that

"I wish for the happiness of everyone, I wish all of you to be happy." Katsura look at Gintoki and said

"Since from the day that you left me in the battlefield, my wish for you is for you to be happy, because your happiness is my happiness" Katsura lift him hand to trace Gintoki's crying face, he slowly wipe it.

"Gintoki... do not regret anymore, do not hold yourself anymore.... let me go already, your family is now your happiness Gintoki and they will never be your worst feeling unlike me... After all this time Gintoki I finally heared it from you and not from everyone else, thank you Gintoki... Thank you for everything and I'm sorry that I have to leave"

Gintoki hold Zura's hand and put Zura's head in his lap. "Zura for next life if we ever reincarnate again... I promise I will find you and that time we will have our own happy ending together, that time no one will leave and no one will left behind, we will have a family, we will argue about the videogame and you will cook for me your famous origini and I will bake you my strawberry cake. Zura I love you so much"

Under the moonlight Gintoki slowly kiss Katsura, his lips touch the soft lips of Katsura, he felt that Katsura returned the favour and responded to his kisses after they kiss Zura smile brightly, the smile that without any regret, the beautiful smile that indicate that he is satisfied with everything and now at peace.

Under the beautiful moonlight Gintoki watch as slowly Katsura is taking a deep breathe and the final words of Katsura before he left is "I love you so much Gintoki, thank you for staying till the end". Gintoki wanted to protest, wanted to say that why didn't he told him before. Gintoki wanted to shout at Katsura how unfair it was for him, but he stop as he saw the Zura without pain, the Zura with no worries, the Zura that left smilling like he was just peacefully sleeping.

Gintoki hug Zura and wispered "Sleep now Zura, I will come to you soon."

End---

I hope you like it and leave a comment Thank you


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